My Thanksgiving 2015

Earlier this month I celebrated one year of being cancer-free. Yay! It's been a strange year of ups and downs, as life is wont to do. Ultimately, I am incredibly blessed and have much to be grateful for:

—I'm grateful for eyelashes and eyebrows. I'm grateful my bangs hang over my eyes. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm also grateful for arm hair and stomach hair and back hair. You never notice how important some things are until they're gone.

November 2014

February 2015

—I'm grateful I can breathe without chest pain. A month after my final chemo treatment, I lay in my bed and inhaled a great, long, marvelous breath and there was no pain! I breathed for several minutes, reveling in the complete comfort I felt. Breathing air. No tenderness. No restrictions. I was free!
(Bonus: I can wear normal bras again! The tightness of bras exacerbated my chest pain and since no bra in the market matched what I needed, I had to create a makeshift bra to wear during the chemo months.)

—I'm grateful I can run. And take long walks in the park. And go shopping without feeling like passing out (or vomiting).

Mom and I went to Disneyland in February! Super fun!

—I'm grateful I can carry a purse. (Although I've grown rather fond of the mini purse).

—I'm grateful I can chase and wrestle my nephews, and give them piggyback rides.

—I'm grateful that when I had to change insurance providers, I was able to continue with my regular oncologist's care.

—I'm grateful I finally, finally finished my MFA! Hurrah! Thank you to my kind and understanding professors—Hillary, Chip, and Amanda—for supporting me while writing my thesis. =)

—I'm grateful I survived a season of unemployment and eventually found a full-time job. (Update: A week after originally posting this, I received news that I was going to be laid off. Huh. Onward to new opportunities!)

—I am extra grateful to my friend Mack who took me on an epic expedition! This summer we went to New York, Ireland, Scotland, England, and France. Of all the historical sites and museums and plays we saw, my favorite aspect of the trip was having energy to visit everything! We walked an average of 10 miles each day (our record high was 17 miles). Among our more rigorous activities, we hiked to Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh, climbed 528 steps to the top of St. Paul's Cathedral in London, and ascended 704 stairs of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Considering during chemo I barely had enough energy to make a round trip from my bedroom to my kitchen, being able to hike and climb this summer was a blessing. Thank you, Mack! (Also, watching Jack Gleeson (a.k.a. King Joffrey) and his friends perform in Bears in Space at the Soho Theatre was astronomically delightful!)

Mack and Me atop Arthur's Seat, Edinburgh

We hiked from Arthur's Seat (left arrow) to Edinburgh Castle (right arrow) and obviously to the Ferris wheel.

July 31, 2014
Chemo Costume #6
Hermione Granger
(not Voldemort!)

July 31, 2015
Enjoying hot cocoa at The Elephant House,
where J.K. Rowling penned
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

St. Paul's Cathedral

Eiffel Tower

—I'm grateful for past experiences, present blessings, and future adventures!

Thank you to everyone—family, friends, neighbors, kindred spirits—who has supported me. I wish you the best with your endeavors!

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Twelfth Chemo Costume: Katniss Everdeen

Twelfth and final chemo infusion. Yay!

Super strange. And SUPER EXCITING!!!

Also, not very eventful. No anticipatory nausea or vomiting, thank my Lucky Charms. Ditching prepackaged saline in favor of hand-prepped saline proved the biggest help. I still had a few minor bouts of nausea, took a decent nap during infusion time, slept most of the day when I got home, and my appetite is currently nil.

BUT I'M DONE!

Aaalmost, still have a couple weeks of side effects and fatigue to battle through. No biggie. Been there, done that.

Next week I'll have a PET scan to make sure the all nasty cancer cells are defeated, and hopefully soon thereafter I can officially announce that I am a survivor!

Much like the inspiration for my twelfth costume: 

Katniss Everdeen

Oops. Katniss is a better archer than I am.

That's okay. I've got my costumes.

My incredible infusion nurses: Cheri, Mary, Jayne, and Terri.

For Funzies:

BAMF Girls Club

(Other favorites include: episode 6, episode 8, episode 11, and episode 13)

A Bad Lip Reading of The Hunger Games

My First Chemo Costume: Time Warped

In keeping up with my out-of-order crazy tire swinging, here are some pictures and reflections from my first chemo treatment on May 8th. 

Wow, has the time swung by!

–   –   –   –   –   –   –   –   –   –

10:00 AM: Arrive at outpatient infusion center.

Only two days before my first infusion, I had my port placement surgery. Obviously my chest still felt incredibly bruised and sore from having been cut open and a small foreign object crammed inside it. 

I had not yet been able to get my prescription for lidocaine cream, which numbs the skin before a nurse jabs through it and the "soft top" (high grade medical plastic) septum with a needle to access the port. 

Source

Source

Add to my predicament a sharp fear of needles, and you've got a recipe for a hurricane of tears, which I did my best to hold back.

My nurse for the day, Cheri was amazing. She listened to my concerns and talked me through the procedure, per my request. As I braced myself for super intense pain— squeezing Mom's hand, closing eyes, tissue ready, big deep breaths, big deep breaths—Cheri accessed the port faster than a dart hitting a bullseye. 

Whoa. No tears at all. In fact, I distinctly remember thinking, "That was easier than getting a navel piercing." 

(Note: I have to give praise to all of the nurses at the infusion center. Cheri, Terri, Mary, and Jayne are exceptionally skilled at accessing those ports with precision and speed, which leads to minimal discomfort even when I haven't used the lidocaine cream.)

With the drama of needles and port access out of the way, my first infusion continued.

During the first hour while anti-nausea meds dripped into me, Cheri gave me and my mom a quick tutorial on each of the four chemo drugs I would receive (Adriamycin, Bleomycin  Vinblastine, and Dacarbazine) and their side effects. (Click here to read more about my chemo course.) 

Then, chemo-ification time came! Usually I receive the drugs out of ABVD order. It's more like AVDB or AVBD. The order doesn't matter, as long as it's the correct drug and the correct dosage.

Adriamycin and Vinblastine come in syringes and the nurses "push" each drug in small amounts into my IV. Bleomycin and Dacarbazine hang from the IV pole and are pumped through automatically.

Total chemo time:

Adriamycin: 10 minutes

Vinblastine: 5 minutes

Bleomycin: 30 minutes

Dacarbazine: 60 minutes

Nurse Cheri and the four chemicals she's about to infuse me with.

You will note a lack of costume. The advice I received was to "dress comfortably," and dress comfortably I did. The idea to dress in costume originated sometime near the end of my first treatment.

Almost done for the day! (Oh my goodness! I still had hair back then!)

2:00 PM: First infusion DONE!

I was surprised I felt as good as I did when I walked out of the infusion center. Mom and I went grocery shopping to pick up some grub for the weekend.

Afterwards, I celebrated my first successful chemo infusion by dressing up and nibbling on a piece of pie. Because everything is better with pie. And steampunk gear.

My Facebook friends might be familiar with this lovely photograph:

It's all smiles and silliness for a little while...

By 4:00 PM the chemo caught up with me and my body felt as if it had gone through a blender.

Yuck.

Just…yuck.

Yet I still tried to attend a small family gathering to celebrate my brother-in-law's birthday. This was the result:

I've used this pic before, but it captures the distress of chemo day.

My mom and I left the party early, and I sat in my shower for a solid thirty minutes letting warm water soothe me. I had an evening snack of fruits and veggies, and my body felt better. Lots of rest over the weekend also helped.

–   –   –   –   –   –   –   –   –   –

So, that was my first chemo experience. Of course, over the next two weeks there were a lot of side effects and gross days and ickiness that I'm glad are in the past.

I've adjusted over time and basically become a pro at it now.

Most chemo days have followed a similar pattern: wake up, apply lidocaine cream, rest/nap while getting infused, endure nausea, return home, sleep off the side effects the rest of the day and most of the weekend. Take pain relievers and warm showers as needed.

Also über important: Take anti-nausea meds on time.

It's weird to think I'm almost done, and also super relieving. The first treatment is rough because neither you nor your body knows what to expect, and it's only the beginning. Looking back is kind of empowering because Hell yeah, I did it!

Well, I've almost done it.

Only one more to go!

My Eleventh Chemo Costume: Kermit the Frog Princess

My penultimate chemo treatment! Only one more to go!

I love shopping at thrift stores for costume pieces.

A few months ago I happened to find this gorgeous evening gown for $10 and it happened to be a perfect fit. When I told the sales clerk I planned to use it as one of my chemo costumes, she gave me a 50% discount. Yup, that's a $5 gown right there!

As pretty as the dress is itself, I couldn't help adding a little twist.

So, without further ado, I present Kermit the Frog Princess!

This princess has only one wish: for a banjo ukulele.

Frog princesses don't wave. They flail enthusiastically!

As for updates, everything is going smoothly. Side effects have been less severe than they were in the beginning and middle of my journey. I think my body is adjusting. Nausea is still annoying, but at least this time my breakfast stayed down! YaaAaAAaay!

Mahna Mahna, my friends!

Just for kicks and giggles, leaps and ribbits, here is one of my favorite Muppet songs:

My Tenth Chemo Costume: Kaywinnet Lee Frye (a.k.a. Kaylee from "Firefly")

Mighty fine tenth shindig!

I'm not a big damn hero, but I aim to misbehave. 

Everything's shiny!

No power in the 'verse can stop me! 

My Ninth Chemo Costume: Capt'n Pink Beard, the Pirate!

Ahoy, me Hearties! Capt'n Pink Beard here!

Me birthday be next week and it corresponds with only the best holiday evarrrr!

INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!
(September 19th each year, every year. Save the date.)

Capt'n Pink Beard and First Mate Jewels

All of ye buccaneers have less than one week to brush up on yer best pirate dialect. Links to tutorials are provided below.

Me 'n' the crew have finished nine leagues along our twelve-league quest for the Treasure de Rémission. It has been a veritable odyssey of epic proportions! (We shan't speak of the anticipatory seasickness.) 

In honor of this auspicious event, I present "Capt'n Pink Beard's Chantey."

So far we have survived with grace. And dignity. And pinktasticness!

Thar be only three more chemo adventures to go!

Methinks a little pirate jig be in order.

Link

Pirate Grammar Tutorials

Talk Like a Pirate: The Five A's (YouTube)
Talk Like a Pirate (YouTube)
Pirate Terms and Phrases

Other Pirate-y Links

Official Talk Like a Pirate Day Website
How–to: Make a Fake Beard
Lyrics and chords to "Capt'n Pink Beard's Chantey"

My Eighth Chemo Costume: Pretty in Steampunk

Wow! I can't believe I'm two-thirds done with chemo treatments. Hallelujah!

This treatment's costume theme: Steampunk! (Because I'll never tire of steampunk.)

My blood counts were, well not exactly "normal" per se, but decent enough to continue with chemo #8.

Despite taking anti-anxiety/anti-nausea meds prior to arriving at the infusion center, I still experienced anticipatory nausea and vomiting. Yup, it's a real thing that 29% and 11% of chemo patients experience, respectively. (I feel so lucky!) I'm glad I skipped breakfast, otherwise that blue, plastic barf bag would have been more full.

My nurse used a slightly different strategy when accessing my port this time. Whenever the nurses access my port they have to flush it out with saline. For a while I wondered if that incited—or at least exacerbated—my nausea. My nurse explained that some patients have a reaction to the saline when it comes in prepackaged syringes, which is what they had been using for me. This time she filled an empty syringe with saline from a bulk container and it made a difference. Less nausea this time!

While my two anti-nausea pre-meds were getting infused, I mustered up enough energy to take some photos.

I have to give a shoutout to my friend Stephanie F., who sent me the adorable beige skirt that served as the inspiration for my creation. The original skirt was too small. Of course, that didn't stop me from finding a way to fix it. 

One straight cut down the back, sew on a few extra inches of fabric, cover with a beautiful bustle. Easy peasy.

I made the mini top hat from cereal box cardboard, fabric, and ribbons. It's so cute! I love it!

Oops! Slipped! You know what they say when you fall...

Stand up and continue to be fabulous!!!

I also have to give a shoutout to my friend Christine F. who made the one-of-a-kind necklace I'm wearing. You can find more of Chris's creations through Punkenstein Jewelry (awesome name!)

After pictures, it was time for chemo. I sat back and meditated while the chemo worked its…well, I wouldn't call it "magic," but it's working. Only four more treatments to go!

Steam On!

How to make bustles:
Child's skirt with bustle (The inspiration for altering my skirt)
Neo Victorian Easy Bustle Tutorial
The Incredibly Easy Bustle Skirt

How to make a mini top hat:
Mini Top Hat Tutorial (My hat is a modified version of this pattern.)

My Seventh Chemo Costume: Doctor Who

Who else is super stoked for the Doctor Who series eight premiere? I am!!

In honor of one of my favorite doctors, I dressed up in my gender flipped Fourth Doctor costume and my sister, Christine dressed up as the Tenth Doctor.

But first, a quick note about yesterday's chemo treatment.

Christine and I spent eight hours at the infusion center yesterday. Normally an infusion only takes three to three-and-a-half hours. So why the extra time? Sadly, a TARDIS was not involved.

My oncologist called me on Wednesday to tell me that my Tuesday lab work was a bit alarming. 

Normal hemoglobin range balances between 12.0-16.0 g/dL, and anything below 9.0 or 8.0 is worrisome. You know hemoglobin, that important molecule in red blood cells that transports oxygen from lungs to body. My tests results came back at 7.7 g/dL. Yowzah! A lot of my other counts were down, too, including my red blood cell count. These low results made sense. As I mentioned in my posts about fatigue and my insane menstrual cycle, the past two weeks following treatment #6 I struggled to get out of bed for several days, and the days I could get out of bed I felt extremely weak.


The solution: a red blood cell transfusion.

Christine and I arrived at the infusion center on Thursday at 8:00 a.m. and by 8:30 a.m. precious blood cells began transfusing into my veins. It kind of weirded me out and unfortunately the anti-nausea/anti-anxiety med I took prior to my visit did not prevent me from regurgitating the mini donut I had for breakfast. Hello mini donut!

Four hours and two units of blood later, the pre-med and chemo infusion process began. No delaying chemo this time, which is just as well because I look forward to when this whole cancer ordeal is over.

Transfusion Snoozin'

I was extremely exhausted—mostly from having gotten very little and very poor quality sleep the night before—and slept the majority of the eight hours. However, I'm glad to report that the transfusion has worked wonders! I feel great compared to the aftermath of treatment #6. After chemo #6 I could barely move, barely stay awake, barely talk, barely eat. Chemo #7 has been a 150 degree improvement (the other 30 degrees are dedicated to some lingering nausea and tiredness). My appetite has increased and I stayed awake nearly all day Friday. Fantastic! 

There we are at the end of the day. We finally left the infusion center around 4:00 pm.

That is a 20½ foot-long Season 16/17/Shada Scarf replica, by the way (21 feet even with tassels). I crocheted it back in September/October for my 2013 Halloween costume.

Well, that's all.

Must Dash!

Doctor Who Scarf Patterns: http://www.doctorwhoscarf.com