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Princess Tatterhood

A Norwegian Fairy Tale

Retold by Amanda

Once upon a time there were two princesses, Anne and Tatterhood.

Princess Anne was beautiful, dainty, well-mannered, yadda yadda, everything a princess should be, and everyone in the kingdom adored her.

Princess Tatterhood was the complete opposite. She was ugly, wore a tattered hood, rode a goat around the palace, and hit everything and everyone with a wooden spoon.

"Why can't you be more like your sister Anne?" people would ask.
THWACK! would go the wooden spoon.
Nobody liked Tatterhood and she couldn't care less.

One day, trolls attacked the palace. During the blitz, Princess Anne peeked out a window and what would you know, the trolls chopped off her head and rode away with it.

Princess Tatterhood saved her sister by attaching a moose's head to her body.

She and Anne rode the goat and chased after the trolls. When they arrived at the trolls' camp, Tatterhood marched up to the captain.

"Give me back my sister's head." Tatterhood stomped her foot.
"Haha. No way," said the troll captain.
"I said, give me back my sister's head."
"Buzz off."
The trolls all laughed at her, so she smacked them with her wooden spoon THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! until they cowered and returned Anne's head. Tatterhood made them promise to leave her kingdom alone and they ran away in fear.

Tatterhood replaced Anne's head and her sister was once again beautiful.

While the two sisters rode back to the palace, two princes happened to see them. The first prince was smitten by Anne's beauty and insisted on marrying her.
"Not so fast," said Tatterhood. "I'm older, so I gotta get married first." The other prince had a kind heart and he agreed to marry Tatterhood.
The next day the kingdoms celebrated a double wedding.

Source

During the wedding parade Tatterhood turned to her groom and said, "Don't you want to know why I carry this wooden spoon?"
"Why do you carry that wooden spoon?" the prince inquired.
"It's not a wooden spoon, it's a royal sceptre." With that, Tatterhood waved her wooden spoon and BAM! the spoon turned into a magnificent sceptre bespeckled with jewels.

"Don't you want to know why I ride this goat?"
"Why do you ride that goat?"
"It's not a goat, it's a noble steed!" With that, Tatterhood waved her sceptre and BAM! the goat turned into a glorious steed of the finest pedigree.

Sources: Goat image, Horse image

"Don't you want to know why I wear this tattered hood?" Tatterhood asked.
"Why do you wear that tattered hood?"
"It's not a tattered hood, it's a glittering crown and I am the prettiest princess in all the land!" Tatterhood waved her sceptre once more and BAM! the hood turned into a stunning crown and she herself transformed into the most beautiful woman anyone had ever laid eyes on.